Monday, 20 November 2017

Should we be forcing our partners to get in shape?

We all love our husbands, wives, boyfriends or girlfriends. We depend on them for support when we get into sticky situations and companionship when we feel isolated and alone. Our partners travel the world with us, experiencing countless emotions and situations as a team and, generally speaking, we're super excited about the future we have with them.

So why are we allowing them to slowly kill themselves?

OK, I'll admit that that may sound awfully extreme, but hear me out...

I'll prefix this by admitting that me and my wife, Nita are pretty active and, on the whole, hopefully generally healthy people. However, we're certainly not perfect and don't profess to be. We overindulge like everyone else does and my Fitbit stats don't always make for great reading.

Since becoming a married man last summer I guess I've become increasingly aware of my responsibilities in our relationship. We currently don't have any children but do have a new house that we'll soon be moving into. I have the associated headaches of running my own business and all the general responsibilities of being an adult in his 30s.

The commitment of marriage is life-long but how long your life is, aside from tragic fatal accidents and some genetic factors, is largely determined by how you decide to live it. As a personal trainer I spend my days encouraging people to optimise their exercise and nutrition as these basics are likely to increase our chances of living a long and healthy life. Whether they actually implement the changes I suggest is ultimately down to them.

The point here is that we often know what we need to do to improve our health and in the rare cases where we genuinely don't, its certainly not hard to outsource that knowledge and seek appropriate help and advice. Afterall, improved strength, stamina, mental clarity and performance are both practical and make you feel great all at the same time.

When we see our partners lazily watching their weekends go by whilst slouched on the sofa eating ice-cream should we be angry? Is this a show of a lack of commitment to a long and happy relationship?

When our partners continue to refuse to make time to exercise should we be offended at their unwillingness to work on the body that will be required to be energetic, mobile and flexible enough to play with our children and grandchildren?

When we catch our partners trying to influence us by forcing their own unhealthy practices our way should we be concerned that their priorities are all wrong?

The truth is that I don't really have an answer here. What I do know for sure is that there are many people out there in relationships with people who don't respect themselves enough to do the bare minimum to look after the vessel that will carry them through this life. These people have probably never even considered the consequences of their future ill health on their family and friends emotionally, practically and financially.

My advice to you would be to have a think about what you foresee the next 10, 20, 30 or 40 years of your life looking like. If your significant other is cruising in a direction of ill health that will ultimately affect you in the long run, perhaps there's a conversation to be had there.

Alternatively, if you're in a loving relationship with a health conscious, committed and responsible partner, maybe it's you who needs to ask a few questions of yourself.


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